Last summer I took my kids to the local swimming pool. My boys stayed in the far side of the pool jumping off the diving board, playing with their friends. I was having an awesome ‘lazy day’, sitting in the sun relaxing by the shallow end while my daughter played nearby.
Out of the blue, Sammi ran up to me in a panic.
“Daddy,” she whispered urgently, “I gotta go pee!”
I sighed, turned and looked behind me at the bathrooms. They seemed so far away and I really didn’t want to leave the comfort of my deck chair to walk all the way back there.
Suddenly, the solution popped into my head.
I leaned forward in my chair and whispered conspiratorially to my little angel, “Why don’t you just get back in the water and pee in the pool."
A look of total disgust came across Sammi’s face.
“What!” she hollered, “You want me to PEE IN THE POOL!!!”
Suddenly, it seemed like time stopped – all eyes were on me and everyone was staring at the awful parent who had just asked his kid to pee in the pool.
“I am NOT gonna PEE IN THE POOL!!!” she bellowed at the top of her lungs.
“Wait, what?!?” I replied feebly, “Nooo… I didn’t tell you to pee in the pool. I said that we need to get out of the pool and go to the restroom silly.”
I stood up quickly, grabbed her hand and started the ‘walk of shame’ towards the public restroom feeling the heat from all the people staring at me as I went.
The whole way to the restroom Sammi kept talking about what I’d just asked her to do in her best ‘outdoor voice’:
Sammi: “Why would you tell me to pee in the pool?”
Me: “Daddy was just joking, let’s keep our voice down.”
Sammi: “But that is sooo disgusting!”
Me: “I know honey. Let’s turn the volume down a little now okay?”
Sammi: “People are supposed to pee in the potty – NOT the pool daddy!”
Me: “I get it Sweetie. Believe me, I get it…”