September 29, 2011

Stranger Danger

Recently I was trying to talk to Sammi about strangers while she sat at the table coloring a picture.

Me:  "So, do you ever talk to strangers when you're not with one of your parents?"

Sammi:  "Nope.  NEVER talk to strangers."

Me:  "Okay then - what if an old man comes up and asks you to help him find his lost puppy - do you help him?"

Sammi:  "Yes."

Me:  "Sammi!  No - that's a stranger - you shouldn't talk to strangers!"

Sammi:  "An old man looking for a puppy isn't a stranger."

Me:  "If you don't know who he is..."

Sammi (interrupting):  "Daddy, his puppy is lost!  Poor little puppy."

Me:  "But..."

Sammi:  "What if you had a cute little puppy that was lost and nobody would help you find him?  Poor little cute puppy!"

Me:  "But I'm not a stranger!"

Sammi:  "Exactly!"

Me (trying to regain control of the conversation):  "Okay Sammi, can you tell me what a 'stranger' looks like then?"

Sammi:  "Sure.  Strangers look like pirates."

  "Arrr!  I be a stranger Matey!"

September 26, 2011


Sammi:  "Daddy, did you know that my name, Samantha, has 3 different nicknames?"

Me:  "Really?"

Sammi:  "Yep.  There's 'Sam', 'Sammi' and 'Kung Fu Princess'..."

September 22, 2011

Little Pink Monkey (Part 2)

Last week I was getting Sammi ready for school and I noticed that her backpack looked really full.  I picked up the backpack and opened it.  Besides her school papers and Little Pink Monkey (of course), the backpack contained several extra school snacks, a deck of cards, a stuffed bunny, several story books and an extra pair of Sammi's shoes.

Me:  "Uhhh...  Sammi, do you want to come here and explain all this stuff in your backpack?"

Sammi (looking in her backpack like she doesn't see anything out of the ordinary): "What do you mean?"

Me:  "What do I mean?  What is all this stuff?  Look, you've got tons of extra fruit snacks in here and..."

Sammi:  "Well I had to bring all the extra fruit snacks because Little Pink Monkey had been getting very hungry in the backpack so he was sneaking out during snack time at school and taking everyone's snacks."

Me:  "I guess that makes sense.  We don't want him starving or taking other people's snacks.  But why are you bringing the bunny?"

Sammi:  "I had to bring Bunny because Little Pink Monkey was getting really lonely all by himself in the backpack - besides, he couldn't play cards all by himself."

Me (trying to keep a straight face):  "Okay, I understand the snacks and the bunny and the cards.  I'm guessing the books are for both of them to read in the backpack..."

Sammi (interrupting): "Yeah, if they don't have books to read, they sneak out at recess and go crazy."

Me:  "So what's the deal with the shoes?"

Sammi:  "I just love those sandals and I'm going to wear them at Grandma's house after she picks me up from school today."

Me:  "Ohhh...  I thought that they had something to do with Little Pink Monkey too."

Sammi:  "Well - he has been sneaking out and nibbling on everyone's shoes in class during reading time, so I also brought the extra shoes in case he might want to nibble on them instead."

My daughter seems to have turned into a little girl version of Calvin and Hobbes.

            Sammi and 'Little Pink Monkey'

September 21, 2011

Little Pink Monkey (Part 1)

Sammi has a little stuffed pink monkey aptly named 'Little Pink Monkey'.  According to Sammi, Little Pink Monkey is her best friend and he (yes, Little Pink Monkey is a boy) goes everywhere with her.
On Sammi's second week of school this year, I noticed that she was packing Little Pink Monkey in her backpack in order to take him to school with her.  She was zipping the backpack up - carefully making sure to keep the monkey's head out. 

Me:  "Why are you taking that toy to school with you?"

Sammi:  "That toy?!?"

Me:  "Sorry.  Why are you bringing Little Pink Monkey to school with you?"

Sammi:  "Because he gets so lonely all by himself here at home.  He misses me too much."

Me:  "Doesn't your teacher mind?"

Sammi:  "Nope.  She thinks he is adorable.  But he has to stay in the backpack now because yesterday he went to recess with me and went crazy.  The recess monitor really doesn’t like monkeys going crazy at recess.”

Me (winking):  “Okay, I guess you can bring him with you – just don’t let him go crazy at recess.”

Sammi:  “I won’t Daddy.”

Me:  “By the way – why do you have his head hanging out of the backpack like that?”

Sammi:  “So he can breathe…  Duh!”

September 20, 2011

Love Levels

Sammi came home from school the other day looking very blue.

Me:  "What's wrong Sammi?"

Sammi:  "I don't know - I feel sad and think I need to cry."

Me:  "Come here kiddo."

I picked Sammi up and she buried her face in my chest and cried for several minutes. I just held her and let her cry.  When she was finished. she wiped her red-rimmed eyes and smiled at me.

Sammi:  "I'm all better now Daddy."

Me:  "What was bothering you?"

Sammi:  "I think my 'love levels' were too low and I just needed to fill them back up.  Thanks Daddy!"

With that she turned around and skipped out of the room.

What she didn't realize is that she filled my love levels up too.

September 16, 2011

The Gym

Sammi:  "Daddy, why don't you go to the gym anymore?  You used to go there every day."

Me:  "Well, I've been really busy lately honey and I just haven't had the time."

Sammi looked at me for a minute and then reached up and patted my stomach.

Sammi:  "I think you better start making time..."

Me (chuckling):  "So, do you think Daddy's getting a little chubby?"

Sammi:  "Uhhh...  Let's just say that you just really need to try and make time to go back to the gym."

September 12, 2011


A couple of weeks ago, I took Sammi to the mall to get some new school clothes.

Me:  "Here try these pants on."

Sammi:  "These won't fit - they're size seven.  I don't turn seven until my birthday in October."

Me:  "The sizes aren't the same as your age honey.  Just go try them on."

Sammi (rolling her eyes):  "Daddy you don't know about these things because you're not a girl, but when I turned six, I wore a size six.  When I was five, I wore a size five.  So I won't wear size seven until after my birthday in October."

Me:  "Well the size six didn't fit over your bum, so please go try on the seven."

She tried on the pants and found that they actually did fit.  After we purchased all of her clothes, Sammi and I went to the food court to grab a bite to eat.  During lunch, I noticed that she was being very quiet.

Me:  "What's wrong Sam?  You don't like your food?"

Sammi:  "It’s not that...” 

Me:  “Well what’s wrong then?”

Sammi:  “I just don't get it Daddy.  How can my butt be seven when I’m still just six?"

Me:  "I guess that's one of those mysteries that we'll never figure out honey."

September 6, 2011

Very Yucky!

Sammi:  "What are you making for dinner Daddy?"

Me:  "Teriaki chicken."

Sammi (looking confused):  "What did you say you're making?"

Me (enunciating):  "Teri-aki chicken."

Sammi:  "Really???"

Me:  "Yep."

A few minutes later I heard Sammi talking to her brother.

Sammi:  "Guess what?!?  Daddy said he's making Very-Yucky Chicken for dinner tonight..."

September 1, 2011

The Worst Thing Ever.

I came home from work one day and Sammi met me at the door with a terrible look on her face.

Me:  "Hey pumpkin, what's wrong?"

Sammi:  “Daddy, something very, very horrible happened to me today.”

Me (worried):  “What happened?  Are you okay?!?”

Sammi (very seriously):  “This is the worst thing that ever happened to me in my whole life!”

Me (very alarmed now):  “What happened?!?”

Sammi:  “I was going potty at school today - and my bum slipped and touched the water!"

Me:  "Uh, that's it?"

Sammi:  "But you don't understand Daddy - MY BUM TOUCHED THE WATER!!!

Me (trying not to smile now):  "Oh no!  I'm so sorry honey. That must've been an awful experience for you."

Sammi:  "Yes it was.  It was sooo gross!!!”

I'm really glad her idea of 'the worst thing ever' and mine are two different things.  I guess it's all perspective...

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