May 30, 2012

Surreal

Sammi (skipping into the room):  "Daddy, did you know that The Supremes' version of You Can't Hurry Love is much better than the Phil Collins remake?"

Me (blank stare on my face):  "..."

Sammi:  "Did you hear me?"

Me:  "Uh... I'm sorry, what did you just say?"

Sammi:  "I said that Diana Ross and The Supremes sang  You Can't Hurry Love much better than Phil Collins.  I know that Phil Collins is a great singer, but I just think that The Supremes sang that song so much better."

Me:  "..."

Sammi:  "Don't you agree???"

Me:  "..."

Sammi:  "Daddy!"

Me: "Uh... Actually, yes - yes I do - but, wait...  How do you even know about those singers or that song?!?  You're SEVEN!"

Sammi (rolling her eyes):  "I not a baby Daddy - I know stuff!"

Sammi shook her head at my obvious lack of intelligence and then skipped back out of the room singing You Can't Hurry Love to herself, leaving me sitting there alone scratching my head...

Sometimes it's a bit surreal being the father of a seven year old who is smarter than I am.


May 23, 2012

Career Day


The entire first grade at Sammi’s school recently had "career day".  Each child was supposed to dress up like the person they want to be when they grow up.  Sammi had a particularly hard time deciding what to wear.  She had a week to prepare, and the night before career day, she was still undecided.

Sammi:  "Daddy!  I need help!  I can't decide what to be for career day tomorrow."

Me:  "Well, what do you want to be when you grow up?"

Sammi:  "I want to be a marine biologist and a teacher and I want to write children’s books too."

Me:  "That sounds perfect!  We can get your stuffed dolphin and..."

Sammi (cutting me off):  "No.  I think I might want to be something else."

Me:  "Well you can be anything you want to be - you know that honey."

Sammi:  "I know Daddy, but Caleb in my class doesn't."

Me:  "What do you mean?"

Sammi:  "One boy said he was going to be a cook for career day and Caleb laughed at him and said boys can't be cooks."

Me:  "That's not right.  Lots of boys are cooks.  I'm a pretty good cook."

Sammi:  "That's what I said!  I told him that boys and girls can be anything they want to be!"

Me:  "What did he say to that?"

Sammi:  "Caleb just laughed at me and said there are lots of things a boy can't be - like nurses.  I got mad and told him that when I was in the hospital that I had two boy nurses AND that my doctor was a girl." 

Me:  "Way to put him in his place.  What is Mr. Caleb going to be for career day?"

Sammi:  "He's going to wear camouflage and be a soldier....  Ooh!  Now I know what I want to be for career day!"

With that, Sammi ran upstairs and came down a little while later in her nice dress with her hair tied back.

Me:  "So, who are you supposed to be?"

Sammi:  "If Caleb wants to be a soldier, then I'll be his boss - the President of the United States!"

She’s definitely got my vote.




May 14, 2012

Seafood


Sammi LOVES to tease her big brother Connor.  Connor is usually kind of grumpy in the morning, which makes him especially susceptible to his little sister's teasing when he first gets up.

The other morning, Sammi was already at the table eating her breakfast when Connor finally stumbled into the room.

Me:  "Good morning Connor."

Connor (barely audible):  "Morning."

Sammi looked at her grumpy brother for a minute as he sat down at the table.  She then took a big bite of cereal and with her mouth full said, "Good morning Connor!!!"

Connor:  "Sammi!  Shut your mouth when you talk - that's so gross!"

Sammi filled her mouth with another huge bite of cereal and said:  "I'm sorry Connor; I don't understand what you're talking about."  As she spoke, cereal flew out of her mouth all over the table.

Connor:  "Oh my god!  Now you’re spraying the table with Rice Krispies!  Dad, please make her stop!!!"

Me:  "Come on Samantha - cut it out."

Sammi:  "I'm sorry daddy.  I must have accidentally had some food in my mouth when I told Connor good morning.  I was just trying to be a good sister - he didn't need to yell at me."

Me:  "Just don't do it again.  Okay?"

Sammi:  "Okay Daddy."  She then turned to her brother with a big smile on her face:  "Hey Connor, do you like seafood?"

Connor:  "I am not going to answer that question - I know what you're going to do!"

Sammi (innocently):  "What?!?  I just wanted to know if you like to eat fish and lobster. You know - seafood. What’s the big deal???  I like seafood."

Connor:  "Yes, I guess I like seafood..."

Sammi:  "Okay then- here's your seafood!"  With that, she opened her mouth and showed her brother all the chewed up food on her tongue.  "SEE FOOD?"

Connor:  "DAD!!!"
  
Did you say seafood?!?








May 1, 2012

Chicken McButts

We were going out one night to grab a quick bite to eat and the kids were trying to figure out where they wanted to go.

Sammi:  "What about McDonald's?"

Connor (Sammi's brother):  "No!  Yuck!"

Sammi:  "But I want a Chicken McNugget Happy Meal."

Connor:  "Do you know how they make the McNuggets???"

Sammi:  "How?"

Connor:  "I better not tell you."

Sammi:  "Why not?"

Connor:  "Trust me, you don't want to know - it's too disgusting!"

Sammi:  "So what part of the chicken is the McNugget anyway?"

Connor (leaning in and whispering):  "I think it's the butt."

Sammi (laughing):  "I guess that's why they call them Chicken McNuggets.  Because nobody would want to eat Chicken McButts..."

Maybe they're not chicken butts after all...

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